found glitter on my couch recently and i have no explanation for how it got there which is honestly terrifying. like i live alone and the last craft project i did was in middle school when i made that volcano that barely erupted.
so where did this glitter come from and why is it specifically on the left cushion like someone was sitting there bedazzling something.
went through my whole week trying to figure it out.
didnt go to any parties unless you count grocery shopping as a party which honestly these days kind of is. didnt hug anyone who looked particularly sparkly. didnt even buy a greeting card because who sends cards anymore except your aunt who still thinks email is too complicated.
but somehow craft herpes has invaded my living space and now im finding tiny pieces of silver everywhere.
once its in your house it never leaves. its like the cockroaches of the art supply world except less useful and more annoying. you can vacuum it up but it just laughs at your vacuum and spreads to other furniture out of spite. probably gonna find glitter in my kitchen next week and then my bedroom and eventually my car even though the glitter has never been near my car.
thats just how glitter works it teleports.
googled glitter in house, no explanation.
and apparently this happens to people more than youd think. whole forums of people being like why is there glitter on my doorknob when i hate crafts. makes me feel better but also worse because now i know glitter is just randomly appearing in homes across america like some kind of sparkly plague.
honestly starting to think my apartment is haunted by the ghost of a very enthusiastic kindergarten teacher