clicked on twitter yesterday and my brain immediately went nope and closed it before i could even see what fresh hell was happening. like some kind of digital survival instinct kicked in and was like dude you dont need this energy in your life right now.
probably saved myself from getting mad about something that doesnt actually affect me but wouldve ruined my whole afternoon anyway.
its become this weird pavlovian response where i open the app and instantly feel my stress levels spike before ive even read anything. my thumb just hovers over the x button ready to escape whatever discourse is trending today. could be people arguing about pineapple on pizza could be the collapse of civilization. same energy different day and my brain has learned to just opt out before finding out which one it is.
the strange part is i keep opening it out of habit even though i know its gonna be terrible. like touching a hot stove over and over expecting different results. muscle memory says check twitter brain says absolutely not and somehow muscle memory wins every time until that split second of clarity where im like what am i doing to myself.
tried deleting the app but then i just end up going to the website like an addict finding new ways to get their fix. probably says something deep about human nature and our need for constant stimulation but mostly it just says i have no self control and twitter knows exactly how to exploit that.
honestly closing twitter immediately might be the healthiest relationship ive ever had with social media. its like speedrunning disappointment but then choosing not to finish the race.