so we’re in this team meeting and my manager is going on about targets and she says something about how we need to “hit our numbers” and without thinking i go “yeah we really need to make it count” which is obviously a terrible math pun but my brain thought it was genius
dead silence.
like the kind of silence you get when someone brings up politics at thanksgiving. just six people staring at their laptops pretending they didn’t hear anything. but instead of moving on like a normal human being i decided to double down because apparently i hate myself
“get it. make it count. like counting numbers but also like making it matter”
and then i kept going like some kind of comedy coroner.
“because we’re talking about hitting numerical targets so count has a double meaning here”
sarah from accounting literally put her head in her hands. my manager just blinked at me like i was speaking a foreign language. the new intern looked genuinely concerned for my mental health.
but did i stop there
of course not
“and also when you count things you’re literally dealing with numbers so its like a mathematical reference but also an emotional one about significance”
at this point i was basically giving a powerpoint presentation about why my joke failed. the meeting just continued around me like i was having a stroke
now every time someone mentions numbers in a meeting i can feel everyone waiting to see if im gonna have another pun breakdown. thats my office reputation now. the guy who explains bad jokes until they become worse. really building that personal brand