so my sister calls me yesterday crying because her cat knocked over the litter box again and there’s litter everywhere and she’s having people over soon.
i’m half listening because i’m trying to play elden ring but then she says i should just get one of those robot ones and now suddenly i’m invested.
20 minutes later i’m deep in amazon reviews for the cumrige self cleaning litter box.
found it here if you’re curious:
why does a litter box need wifi
the first thing is that it connects to your home wifi.
but wait it gets worse. or better. i can’t tell anymore. you control it through a smart app. you can schedule cleaning cycles. you can check how many times your cat used it. you can change the led mood lighting inside because apparently cats need ambiance while they poop.
i spent 40 minutes reading about the app features. you can get push notifications when the waste bin is full. imagine being at dinner and your phone buzzes and you’re like excuse me i need to take this and it’s your litter box demanding attention. that’s the future we’re living in.
capacity
95 liter drum capacity. why do i know this now. why is this information taking up space in my brain. that’s like twenty five gallons of spinning cat litter. the waste bin holds fifteen liters and lasts two weeks.
it has safety sensors that stop the cleaning cycle if your cat jumps back in. which means somewhere out there cats were getting spun around in earlier models. some engineer had to sit in a meeting and be like we need to talk about the cat spinning problem and now we have infrared sensors protecting cats from their own curiosity.
the weight tracking feature is what really got me though. every time your cat uses it, the app logs their weight. you can track trends. you can see if mr. whiskers is stress eating. you get actual data visualization of your cat’s bathroom habits. excel spreadsheets of fecal frequency.
the reviews are unhinged in the best way
one person wrote a whole paragraph about how they had to buy special stairs for their elderly cat to climb into it. pet stairs.
another reviewer was excited that they could change the led light color to match their decor. imagine coordinating your cat’s toilet lighting with your living room aesthetic. these people are operating on a different level. respect.
someone mentioned their cat likes to watch the cleaning cycle and keeps jumping back in to see the litter move. so they had to adjust the delay timer in the app. the cat has become entertained by its own toilet. it’s like netflix but for cats. this is either the peak or the death of civilization and i honestly can’t tell which.
my bathroom doesn’t have any of this tech
my toilet doesn’t have an app. it doesn’t track my weight. it doesn’t have customizable led lighting. it definitely doesn’t have a self cleaning cycle. a litter box is now more advanced than the throne i sit on every morning.
i’m looking at my regular human toilet with new eyes now. where’s my wifi connectivity. where’s my safety sensors. why isn’t there an app telling me when to clean it. cats are living in 2025 while i’m still pulling a handle like a caveman.
the odor control system has me particularly pressed. it has some kind of deodorizing design that prevents leakage and smell. meanwhile my bathroom has a fan that sounds like a dying helicopter and does absolutely nothing. cats get negative ion sterilization or whatever and i get a can of febreze.
but the automated cleaning is cool, can’t lie. it waits a customizable amount of time after the cat leaves then automatically rotates and deposits waste in a sealed compartment. no touching. no scooping. no interaction with feces whatsoever. living the dream.
why am i like this
i’ve now spent 2 hours researching automatic litter boxes. i could have learned a skill. i could have called my mom. i could have done literally anything else. but no. i’m here comparing drum capacities and wifi requirements for cat toilets.
but i’m actually impressed. like genuinely impressed. the engineering that went into this thing. the app development. the sensor technology. someone put real thought and effort into revolutionizing the cat bathroom experience and honestly good for them.
either way i’ve added it to my cart and i’m letting it sit there.
best price i saw
*aff link (if you click this, i get to pretend i have a side hustle)