my cousin texted me asking if the razer basilisk v3 x hyperspeed was worth it and honestly i was about to tell him to shut up and google it like a normal person. but then i made the mistake of actually looking at the thing.
found it here if you’re curious:
and now i can’t stop thinking about how i’ve been using the same crusty logitech mouse since 2017 telling myself it’s fine while it double clicks every third time like it’s trying to morse code me a cry for help.
battery life
so apparently this thing runs on a single AA battery which immediately made me feel some type of way because i’ve been charging my current mouse every 48 hours like i’m keeping a tamagotchi alive.
people in the reviews are split between “it lasts forever” and “this thing eats batteries like my nephew eats goldfish crackers” and i’m sitting here wondering why i care so much about strangers battery experiences.
535 hours on bluetooth they say.
that’s like 22 days of continuous use which means normal people probably get months out of it but i know myself and i’d leave the rgb on full blast because i’m that idiot who likes pretty colors.
the hyperspeed wireless thing is cool tho. apparently it’s faster than regular wireless which made me realize i won’t be able to blame lag for my terrible aim when really i’m just bad.
there’s something deeply uncomfortable about a mouse that would expose me like that. like imagine buying better equipment and having no excuses left. terrifying.
wtf nine programmable buttons
nine buttons. nine. i use three buttons max on my current mouse and one of them is just to lower my dpi when i panic. but this basilisk thing has nine programmable controls and i’m already stressed thinking about what i’d even map them to.
push to talk? screenshot? a dedicated button to close tabs when my gf walks in? the possibilities are overwhelming in that specific way where you know you’d spend 3 hours setting it up perfectly then never touch the settings again.
there’s this one review where a dad bought it for his son and he’s talking about dpi clutch and switches and i’m reading it thinking about how my dad still double clicks icons to open programs. different worlds man.
but also the dad sounds genuinely stoked about the thumb rest which is such a dad thing to care about. comfort features. practical stuff. meanwhile i’m over here still using a mousepad i got free at a job fair in 2019.
the scroll wheel controversy
people are really going at it in the reviews about the scroll wheel. some saying it stops working after a year, others saying it’s perfect. one guy wrote a whole paragraph about how his started scrolling backwards and i felt that in my soul because that exact thing happened to my work mouse and now i just adapted to it like some kind of productivity stockholm syndrome.
but even the people complaining about the scroll wheel still rate it four stars. that’s how you know the rest of the mouse must be doing something right. it’s like when you keep going back to that restaurant even though they always forget your fries. the main thing is just that good.
why rgb on a mouse matters this much to me
i spent 20 minutes looking at pictures of the chroma rgb lighting like i was picking out mood lighting for my apartment. it’s a mouse. it sits under my hand. i can barely see it when i’m using it.
but something about customizable colors makes my brain produce the good chemicals.
maybe it’s because the rest of my setup looks like a best buy clearance section from 2015. this mouse would be the fanciest thing on my desk by far and that’s both exciting and deeply sad.
there’s also something about gen-2 mechanical switches that sounds important even though i have no idea what gen-1 was or why we needed a sequel. but 60 million clicks lifespan? my current mouse probably gave up at 10 million and just didn’t tell me. it’s like when your car starts making a weird noise but you just turn the music up louder.
anyway my cousin still hasn’t bought it, he’s trying to get me to tho i can tell. he’s doing that thing where he watches 50 youtube reviews and reads every reddit thread first. but i already know he’s gonna get it because he sent me a 👀 emoji. that’s the universal signal for i’m about to make a questionable financial decision and i need you to enable me.
honestly though, after diving way too deep into this rabbit hole, i get why people like it. it’s not trying to be some ultralight esports mouse that looks like a skeleton. it’s just a solid wireless mouse that does everything well enough that even the people roasting it can’t fully commit to the hate.
plus that hyperspeed connection thing means you can blame your aim on something else, which is really all any of us want.
and yeah, the battery thing is whatever. buy some rechargeable AAs like an adult. or don’t and complain about it online. both are valid personality traits. but the idea of a mouse that lasts weeks without thinking about it, that’s the dream.
i’m probably gonna tell him to get it just so i can use it when i visit and feel fancy for 5 minutes. that’s the kind of person i am. someone who has opinions about gaming mice i don’t even own.