just saw someone’s tiktok where they’re dehydrating like 30 pounds of strawberries and i got this weird pang of envy. like who are these people who see fruit on sale and think better preserve this for the apocalypse instead of eating it all in one sitting while watching netflix.
anyway that’s how i ended up staring at this magic mill pro food dehydrator on amazon for like 20 minutes.
found it here if you’re curious:
has seven stainless steel trays, digital timer, keep warm function. it’s basically everything my chaotic brain would never use properly but desperately wants to own.
Anyway.
the reviews are killing me. one person’s like “i made blackberry powder” and i’m sitting here like… that’s a thing? you can just make powder out of berries? what kind of wizard shit is that? another reviewer’s talking about drying persimmons and storing them in tubes in the freezer. tubes! of dried fruit! meanwhile i can’t even remember to eat the regular fruit before it goes bad.
there’s something about dehydrators that makes me feel like i should be more efficient. like everyone else is out here making beef jerky and herb mixes while i’m googling is this banana too brown to eat.
also the product description says it has a rear-mounted fan for superior heat distribution, and i’m like yeah cool, my apartment has a box fan i got from target that i point at my face when it’s hot.
about the fans
speaking of fans, apparently this thing runs at under 48 db which the listing calls whisper quiet. that’s actually pretty legit. most dehydrators sound like you’re summoning a demon. this one’s supposedly like having an air filter running, according to some reviewer who clearly owns an air filter.
just from looking at this thing, it seems sturdy.
stainless steel trays instead of that cheap plastic that warps after three uses. dishwasher safe too, which is crucial because if i ever did use this, there’s no way i’m hand-washing 7 trays plus mesh screens plus fruit leather sheets.
the transparent door window is smart too. lets you watch your food slowly mummify without opening it and messing up the temperature.
onward
then another person’s talking about how they cut silicone mesh mats to size for drying small items and i’m thinking that’s actually genius. like they just solved a problem i didn’t even know existed. herbs falling through the cracks, boom, silicone mat.
the temperature control goes up to 167f apparently. the timer goes up to 48 hours too, which seems excessive until you realize some things take forever to dry properly. imagine setting something for two days and just… trusting it’ll work. that level of faith in an appliance is foreign to me.
someone complained that the recipe book doesn’t specify whether to use “raw” or “fast” settings, which honestly tracks. every appliance manual is written by someone who assumes you already know everything.
the uncomfortable truth part
this thing represents a version of myself i’ll never be. the version that meal preps on sundays, has labeled containers in the freezer, makes their own dog treats. the version that sees abundance and thinks preserve instead of consume immediately.
based on what people say, this dehydrator actually works really well. even heat distribution, quiet operation, sturdy construction. it’s everything you’d want if you were the kind of person who dehydrates things. which i’m not. but maybe i could be. that’s the temptation these appliances have for me. the fantasy of transformation through kitchen gadgets.
but still, there’s something weirdly appealing about the idea of turning fresh food into shelf stable snacks. like you’re beating time itself. that apple was gonna rot in a week but now it’s good for months. you’ve outsmarted entropy. plus homemade jerky sounds good. way better than whatever they’re putting in slim jims these days.
maybe that’s why these things are so popular. it’s not just about the food. it’s about feeling prepared, capable, self sufficient. even if you only use it twice before it becomes a very expensive shelf ornament. at least you’ll have those two batches of perfectly dried apple chips to remember it by.
i don’t know. might grab one before I develop impulse control.
best price i saw
Anyway here’s the best deal I found for this thing I’ve your interested.