so i’m at the pet store yesterday buying dog food and i walk past the fish section and just freeze up. there’s this one goldfish in a tiny tank just swimming the same three circles over and over and i’m like damn, that’s literally my entire existence but slower.
like what does that fish even think about all day. does it remember the last time it swam that exact circle. does it have fish adhd and forget every few seconds that it’s trapped in a glass box. or is it fully aware and just screaming internally while doing the same backstroke for the 847th time today.
the math doesn’t add up
and then i started doing the math which was a mistake because now i can’t stop. if that fish lives like five years and does 200 laps a day that’s 365,000 laps of the same boring rectangle. that’s like if i had to walk around my coffee table for eight hours straight every day until i died. except the fish doesn’t even get spotify.
everyone acts like fish tanks are peaceful and zen but it’s basically just elegant imprisonment with better lighting. we’re all just watching this fish have a slow motion breakdown and calling it home decor.
probably overthinking this
my gf says i’m being dramatic and fish don’t have complex emotions but i don’t know . sometimes i catch my reflection in windows and feel exactly like that goldfish. just going through the motions in my own little transparent box while people on the outside decide if i look happy enough.
anyway i bought the dog food and left but i keep thinking about that fish. probably still swimming those same three circles right now while i’m typing this. at least one of us is getting exercise i guess.