look flirting is not a skill i possess. i don’t have “game.”
sure i have my moments but even those are inconsistent. if i try to be smooth, it’s like watching a raccoon try to use chopsticks. just confusion and loud noises and then something gets knocked over
so yeah. there was this girl. she was cool, laughed at one of my dumb jokes (probably out of pity but still), and i thought okay kurt. time to be charming. you got this. you’re wearing your nice hoodie. your hair is medium-decent. you are, for once, slightly sober. shoot your shot
what i meant to do was casually start a conversation
what i actually did was hold out a lukewarm chicken nugget and say “you want one?” like some kind of sad fast food goblin. just… hand outstretched. nugget limp. no context. no setup. no charisma.
she looked at it like i offered her a wet sock.
and then i panicked
and instead of saying something normal like “i made too many” or “they’re good,” i just nodded once and said “protein” like a serial killer.
who the hell says that
what was the goal. was i trying to convince her i’m healthy? was i pitching nuggets like a business deal? i don’t know. all i know is she smiled in that way people do when they’re politely trying to figure out how to exit a conversation without calling 911
she walked away and i ate the nugget and honestly i deserved that
this is why i don’t date