i have a system and it works for me but apparently its not normal human behavior.
every sunday and wednesday night around 11pm i take my trash to the curb because thats when i remember to do it and also when i dont have to make small talk with other people who are also taking out trash. its efficient. its peaceful.
nobody bothers you at 11pm on a wednesday.
except my neighbor has definitely noticed because last week she was walking her dog and we made eye contact while im standing there in pajama pants holding a garbage bag.
she did that thing where she smiled but her eyes were asking questions.
like why is this grown man sneaking around with trash after most people are asleep. which honestly is a fair question but also none of her business. i gave her the little wave and she waved back but it was the kind of wave you give someone when youre not sure if theyre having a mental breakdown.
the thing is once you start doing something weird its impossible to stop because then it becomes even weirder. like if i suddenly start taking my trash out at normal human times janet is going to think i was doing something suspicious with my late night trash routine.
maybe she thinks i was hiding bodies or something.
now im trapped in this cycle where i have to keep being the weird trash guy because being the former weird trash guy who suddenly changed his behavior is somehow worse.
i tried taking it out earlier last week but i forgot and then it was 11pm again anyway. she wasnt outside but i swear i saw her curtain move when i walked back to my house.