checked my uber rating last week and its 4.7 which apparently makes me a slightly below average human being. like somewhere out there are drivers giving me three stars for existing in their car wrong.
what did i do.
breathe too loud. not make enough small talk. make too much small talk. sit in the wrong spot. theres probably some driver from 2019 still telling people about the weird guy who got in his car and ruined his whole night just by being there.
the thing that kills me is i have no idea what drops your rating. like is it because i dont always sit in the front seat. because i thought that was weird. am i supposed to act like were best friends. fist bump when i get in. ask about his kids. pretend i care about his side hustle selling protein shakes. or maybe its because i always say “this is good right here” when we get close to my house instead of giving the exact address like some kind of gps wizard.
my friend dave has a 4.9 and acts like he won a nobel prize.
keeps bringing it up like “oh you know how it is with my 4.9 rating.” dave you get driven places for money you didnt cure cancer. but now i think about it every time i get in a car. sitting there wondering if this is the ride that drops me to 4.6. wondering if the driver can sense my desperation. if he knows im the kind of person who checks his uber rating and feels personally attacked by strangers.
worst part is i cant even figure out how to fix it.
like what separates a 4.7 person from a 4.8 person. do i need to bring snacks. offer to change the music. tip in cash like its 1987. maybe i should just accept that im a 4.7 human being and move on but honestly that feels like giving up on my dreams.