i’m trying to open this pack of batteries yesterday, and i’m using scissors, a knife, my teeth at one point which was stupid but i was committed. the whole time i’m thinking about how this plastic shell is gonna outlive my kids. some archaeologist in the year 3000 is gonna dig this up and be … Read more
it wasn’t even a nice bathroom. that’s the thing. this wasn’t some five star hotel powder room with like gold faucets and ambient lighting. no. this was like a gas station situation. tile floor that looked like it survived a flood. kind of place where the air smells like paper towels and broken trust and … Read more
so my dad calls me yesterday. he’s like “hey what’s this bitcoin thing your cousin is always posting about on facebook”. and i was like oh yeah sure i can explain that. which was immediately a mistake because the second i started talking i realized i have no idea what im actually saying. like i … Read more
so we’re in this team meeting and my manager is going on about targets and she says something about how we need to “hit our numbers” and without thinking i go “yeah we really need to make it count” which is obviously a terrible math pun but my brain thought it was genius dead silence. … Read more