my buddy derek is doing this thing where he’s stepping back from social media which would be fine except he’s posted about it like 9 times since tuesday. first it was the announcement post with the sunset photo. then the update about how he already feels more present. then another one about how he’s reading … Read more
i’m texting this friend about meeting up later and i type “kurt will be there at 8” except my phone decides that’s wrong. it autocorrects to kevin. kevin will be there at 8. i’ve had this phone 3 years and typed my own name probably ten thousand times and it still thinks i mean kevin. … Read more
so i’m at the coffee shop feeling completely normal. like genuinely fine. maybe even good. had eight hours of sleep which for me is basically hibernation. showered. put on the shirt without the stain. i’m operating at peak performance here. then this person i sort of know from somewhere walks up and goes “wow you … Read more
i’m sitting there eating cereal this morning and my cat walks in, sits down 3 feet away, and just stares. not at my food. not at anything specific. just stares at me with this look like she’s collecting data for a report she’s gonna file later. and i’m thinking, what the hell does this thing … Read more
so i’m sitting at this red light and the car in front of me has one of those “coexist” bumper stickers. you know the one. different religious symbols spelling out the word like some kind of spiritual algebra problem. and for some reason my brain just locked onto it first thought was obviously wow this … Read more
so i’m standing in my kitchen at 11 pm holding a perfectly good container of leftover pasta and there’s literally no lid that fits it. none. i have seventeen lids in my drawer and they’re all for containers that apparently don’t exist anymore. it’s like my tupperware is going through a messy divorce and i’m … Read more
so i’m at the pet store yesterday buying dog food and i walk past the fish section and just freeze up. there’s this one goldfish in a tiny tank just swimming the same three circles over and over and i’m like damn, that’s literally my entire existence but slower. like what does that fish even … Read more
so my sister borrowed my phone charger and i’ve been thinking about it for like 16 hours straight. which is insane because it’s literally a five dollar cable. there’s something about chargers that feels weirdly personal. like yeah it’s just a cord but it’s MY cord that lives by MY bed and has been perfectly … Read more
walked up to my apartment door today and got absolutely destroyed by static electricity. like properly zapped. not the little tingle you get from socks, but the kind that makes you question if you’re being punished by some cosmic force for something you did in third grade. and it’s always the same spots too. my … Read more
so this lady at the coffee place told me i looked “healthy” yesterday and i’ve been mentally picking it apart like a autopsy report ever since. healthy. what does that even mean. like was i looking sick before. have i been walking around looking like i need vitamins. the thing is she said it with … Read more