so this lady at the coffee place told me i looked “healthy” yesterday and i’ve been mentally picking it apart like a autopsy report ever since. healthy. what does that even mean. like was i looking sick before. have i been walking around looking like i need vitamins.
the thing is she said it with this tone. like when your mom says your haircut looks “interesting.” it was definitely a compliment but it felt like she was surprised i wasn’t actively dying. like oh wow kurt managed to shower and put on a clean shirt today good for him.
maybe i’m reading into nothing
but then i started thinking about all the times people say healthy when they mean other stuff. like when someone loses weight and people go “you look so healthy” when they really mean you look less fat. or when you’re tan and people say healthy when they mean you don’t look like you live in a basement anymore.
i keep replaying it and now i’m convinced she meant something else entirely. maybe i looked less depressed than usual. maybe my skin wasn’t doing that weird dryness thing. maybe she could tell i’ve been eating actual meals instead of living on snacks.
anyway i thanked her
said oh thanks like a normal person while internally thinking whether this was a compliment or a wellness check. now i’m wondering if i should start taking vitamins or if i should be offended that apparently my default state registers as possibly unwell to strangers.
anyway i’ll be avoiding that place for a bit because what if she asks how i’m feeling today. can’t handle that level of health surveillance from someone who makes my latte.