so i’m at the coffee shop feeling completely normal. like genuinely fine. maybe even good. had eight hours of sleep which for me is basically hibernation. showered. put on the shirt without the stain. i’m operating at peak performance here.
then this person i sort of know from somewhere walks up and goes “wow you look tired” and instantly my whole face feels like it weighs forty pounds. like they just cast a spell on me. two seconds ago i was a functional human and now i look like i’ve been living in an airport for three days.
they always say it like they’re concerned. like they’re doing you a favor by pointing out that your face looks bad. oh thanks for the medical assessment dr. whoever. really appreciate you diagnosing my eye bags in public. should i lie down right here or wait till i get home.
and now i’m thinking about every mirror i passed today. did everyone see this. have i been walking around looking like a corpse all morning while thinking i was crushing it. was the barista being extra nice because she thought i was dying.
now it’s a whole thing
you can’t even defend yourself. what am i gonna say, actually i feel great? cool now i look tired AND defensive. yeah i’ve been busy? now we’re having a conversation about my sleep schedule with someone whose name i’m 60% sure starts with a j.
so i just go haha yeah and now i’m yawning. actually yawning. wasn’t tired five minutes ago but now my body’s like oh right we’re exhausted. better lean into it. by the time i leave i’m basically sleepwalking because jessica or jennifer or whoever manifested this energy on me.
went home and looked in the mirror. i looked completely fine. maybe even kind of good. but now all i can see is tired so i took a nap out of spite.