“where the hell is my other sock.”
“okay but why would they lie about that.”
“i should start a band. maybe noise jazz.”
“alexa, stop listening. i’m serious this time.”
“who keeps moving my toaster.”
“if i fall asleep now i’ll still be tired but in a different way.”
“i’m not googling it. i’m not. okay i’m googling it.”
“this house has weird energy tonight.”
“note to self: burn this note.”
i live alone, by the way.