every single transaction ends with this dramatic pause where the cashier looks at you like youre about to choose between saving a burning orphanage or your own mother.
“do you want your receipt.”
its always said with this weight like they just asked if you believe in god or something. and then you have to make this split second decision that somehow feels way more important than it should be.
like what am i gonna do with a receipt for a pack of gum.
am i gonna frame it.
put it in my baby book.
use it as evidence in court that yes your honor i did purchase trident at 3:47pm on a tuesday.
but then if you say no theres this tiny voice in your head that goes “what if you need to return the gum.” return the gum. like gum is some kind of major investment that might not work out. like im gonna chew it for 5 minutes and decide actually this flavor doesnt match my personality.
and dont even get me started on the people who always say yes to the receipt. what are you doing with all those little pieces of paper. do you have a filing system. are you tracking your sprite purchases for tax purposes.
my friend dave keeps every receipt and his wallet looks like he mugged a cvs register. he pulls it out to pay for something and receipts just flutter to the ground like confetti at a very sad parade.
the worst part is when they print it anyway and then ask.
like the machines already committed. the receipts already born into this world and now youre asking me if i want to adopt it. of course i have to take it now. i cant just let it die alone in that little plastic tray.